Beatitude 10
Say what?
CHAPTER 10
Northmont University. June 22, 1984.
I’m on an actual date with Charlene. Unfortunately, we’re not alone. Thanks to my new friend Akio and his girlfriend Pepper, we're double dating in a Korean restaurant on Center Street just a few blocks from campus.
The Pusan Palace is not very palatial. It’s tiny, with faded floral wallpaper, mismatched furniture, creaky floors and crappy lighting. Not the best place for a first date. Unless you find cheesy Korean pop music crackling over cheap speakers romantic.
Smells good in here, though. And I’m pretty hungry.
After washing my hands in a bathroom slightly larger than a refrigerator box, I take the short trip to our table with eyes set on Charlene.
"Akio knows five different languages," Charlene tells me as I pull out the chair next to her.
“Wow.” I nod, impressed.
“I know, right?” Charlene says. “I can barely speak English.”
Pepper tears into wrapped chopsticks. "He’s just showing off.” She snaps apart two sticks and vigorously rubs them together. I expect them to smolder.
"I ordered Bibimbap and beer. All ‘round." Akio slowly removes his Stetson. "That cool?"
I shrug. “As long as they don’t card me.”
“You’re good.” Akio sets his Stetson on the table.
I like Akio. He’s laidback. Sure of himself.
Pepper’s cool, too. I guess. But I don’t know how long I can stand her voice. When she gets excited it reaches a pitch only dogs can hear.
Charlene, well, Charlene is amazing. She just fits. She joins in like we’re a seasoned couple hanging with old friends. There’s nothing shy about this girl. She’s kinda perfect. Especially when she smiles at me.
Akio rubs his chopsticks together. Charlene follows suit. I join in as well. But where are the forks?
The waitress serves our order — four steaming bowls, four beers. Then she has a friendly, non-English exchange with Akio. Before leaving the table, the waitress reaches inside a pouch in her apron and pulls up a fork. She turns to me, giggles, says something in Korean, and places the fork on my napkin.
Now I absolutely have to use the chopsticks.
Akio holds his tools like a pro. The bottom stick never moves, while his index finger works the top stick to deftly clasp and excavate beef, rice and vegetables.
I attempt to copy his technique. But first I poke the sunny side up egg and stir in the yoke to make paste. Then I clutch a clump and lift up a mouthful.
Awkward, but damn. I guess I like Korean food. I glance over at Charlene. She looks happy, bobbing her head to some cheesy, white noisy pop tune. Her eyes widening as she chews.
Pepper dabs her mouth with a napkin. “Good, huh?”
“That chili paste is hot,” Charlene says, still chewing, hand to mouth. “So good.”
When I get to the bottom of the bowl, the chopsticks aren’t nearly as accommodating. I eventually give up.
I have to admit, things are going great. Akio saved the day. “I’m so glad you suggested this place,” I tell him.
Charlene chimes in. “Me, too!”
Akio leans back in his chair, pats his belly, then turns to wink at Pepper.
Charlene pulls back her chair, looks over at me, then stands. "Be right back."
Pepper follows. "Me, too."
“I don’t know,” I say. “That’s an awfully tiny bathroom.”
They both ignore my warning.
There's something hypnotic about Charlene's walk. I’m staring, though I probably shouldn’t. It’s just, not every girl can sashay like that. Something to do with DNA, I think. I could watch the red tartan pattern of her skirt shift all night long.
"Your girl's got a nice butt," Akio blurts out.
“She’s just a friend.”
Of course he noticed her butt. He's a guy. And I agree with him, it is really nice. But I’m gonna ignore the comment.
Akio picks up his hat. "Me, I'm an itty bitty titty man."
"Akio, stop,” I insist. “Show some respect."
“Tell them.” Akio tosses me a funny look. "They’re in the john sizing us up right now.”
I scrunch my nose. "No way."
Akio snorts. "Way way."
I pause for a moment to ponder the possibility. "Noooo."
"Pepper tells me shit you wouldn't believe." He leans over the table, whispers, "Stuff I would never repeat. Stuff that makes me self-conscious every time I'm in the presence of a pack of females."
He’s just messing with my head. Why does everybody think I’m so gullible?
"You don’t think women objectify men?" Akio nods his head knowingly. “Man candy like you, Cornbread. They’ve definitely checked out your ass.”
Man candy?
Charlene and Pepper make their way back, laughing.
Akio taps the table with two fingers. “Bet you’re the punch line.”
Charlene sits, looks over at me. "This is fun." She bites her lip, leans in close, reaches under the table and squeezes my thigh.
Guess I got a passing score.
BEATITUDE © Mark Scott Ricketts
Apologies to the late Jack Kerouac for use of his “Belief and Technique for Modern Prose" tips.