100 Proof 4
Young Whiskey Dickel joins the rodeo
EXT. WILD HAIR RODEO ARENA - VOM - NIGHT
Professor and Toby confer with Tommy.
PROFESSOR: That’s correct, Thomas, Miss Dickel will be working the arena tonight. Poor dear’s a penniless young innocent in dire need of a ticket home.
Bobo angrily pokes Tommy’s head.
BOBO: And tell Smiley for me that he’d best keep his paws off her. Got it?
STANDS/SEATING
The Pandy Brothers are seated behind redneck bullies Wes, Jimbo, Hank and Big Roy.
Wes opens a jar of jalapeños, pops a pepper in his mouth and begins sweating immediately.
MAIN ARENA
NEVA DIRTDOBBER, standing on her saddle, rides her galloping white horse into the main arena.
ANNOUNCER (loudspeaker): Stand and salute, ladies and gents, cos here she comes dressed in the colors of old glory -- American’s own MISS NEVA DIRTDOBBER!
Neva aims her six-shooter. Fires! Ka-Ching! The bullet strikes and breaks open the heart-shaped lock on the large box.
NARRATOR (loudspeaker): And with one sure-shot, our patriot cowgirl breaks open a heart-shaped lock to release her one true love . . .
The door to the box swings open revealing a giant, snorting BUFFALO wearing a stars and stripes top hat.
NARRATOR (loudspeaker): . . .Uncle Sam!!
SIDELINES
Near the safety barriers, Whiskey and Toby set off a confetti cannons.
MAIN ARENA
Neva, riding sidesaddle, jumps from her horse to the bareback Buffalo.
Holding onto a hank of back hair, Neva rides the bucking beast.
STANDS/SEATING
Wes places a jalapeño pepper in the pouch of a slingshot. He pulls back the band, takes aim and releases.
SPROING! The jalapeño pepper is catapulted into the arena.
MAIN ARENA
The flying jalepeno hits its target — the Buffalo’s open mouth. CHOMP!
The Buffalo gets a blast of chili heat! His pupils constrict. Smoke pours out of his ears.
SIDELINES: Whiskey steps out from behind a safety barrier.
WHISKEY: What the heck!
STANDS/SEATING
Wes and his pals laugh, enjoying the show. But the Pandy Brother’s are no longer seated behind them.
MAIN ARENA
The Buffalo, obviously in pain, froths at the mouth. Eyes red and wild, he bucks Neva off his back.
BUFFALO: Gggrraaaa!
NEVA: Halp!
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
Whiskey Dickel, Int’l Cowgirl © Mark Scott Ricketts and Mike Hawthorne
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